Chuck Norris

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Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground.
The place is now known as the meteor crater.

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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.

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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!

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Did u know Chuck Norris had a role in star wars. He was the force.

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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

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A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.

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What every sports player should say after winning:
"First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

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Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

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Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945.
De Nаzi surrenderd on May 7 1945.

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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.

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Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.

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Charles isn't in charge.
Chuck is!

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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

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Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.

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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.

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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.

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