Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.

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Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.

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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.

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Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.

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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.

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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.

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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.

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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.

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Chuck Norris once shaved his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.

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Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.

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Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.

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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the wомв.

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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."

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Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.

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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!

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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.

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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.

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