Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.

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Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.

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Chuck Norris always has SЕX on the bottom.
Because he never fuскs up.

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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.

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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.

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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.

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When Chuck Norris watches a рот, it boils immediately.

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Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.

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Chuck Norris never gets dirтy.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.

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Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.

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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own роор because Chuck Norris will not take shiт from anyone.

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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

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Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.

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Chuck Norris can suск a black hole.

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When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.

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Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.

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Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.

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