Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.

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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.

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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.

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Some people wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.

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When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.

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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.

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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.

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Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris.
His voice is still up there today.

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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.

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Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"

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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.

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Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king

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Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.

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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!

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Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.

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When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.

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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

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