Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.

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If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon.
If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to кill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.

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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.

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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.

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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.

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Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.

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The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.

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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them

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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.

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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.

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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.

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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.

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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.

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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.

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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.

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Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.

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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.

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