Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"

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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.

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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.

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Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times.
The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.

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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.

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We have a week dedicated to sharks... sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.

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Once Chuck Norris met a man on a horse that he didn't like, now we know him as the headless horseman.

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.

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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

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Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.

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Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines.
They have footprints.

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Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.

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Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.

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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.

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