Chuck Norris

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The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

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The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.

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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.

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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.

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Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.

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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.

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Extra Terrestrials often visit Earth from other galaxies - they're here to see if Chuck Norris really exists.

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Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.

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People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard.
They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.

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The Reapers in the Mass Effect series were actually Chuck Norris' baby toys.

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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.

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It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that соw's вuтт.

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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.

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The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life.
There can be only one.

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