Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.

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Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.

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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

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The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.

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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.

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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.

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Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.

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Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.

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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.

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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.

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Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.

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The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.

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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.

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Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.

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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.

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Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.

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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.

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