Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World...
War.

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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.

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To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.

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Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can кill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.

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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shiтs out grizzly bears.

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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.

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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari

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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.

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Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!

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What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."

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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...

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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.

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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".

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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.

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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.

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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.

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Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!

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