Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died

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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.

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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.

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If you don't know who your father is, odds are it's Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.

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Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.

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Hiroshima nagasaki was nothing but the result of chuck norris skydiving in Japan.

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No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...

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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.

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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.

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Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

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They say terror?
Look at Chuck.

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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.

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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a вееr and gets a вееr?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.

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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.

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