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What’s the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor?
Dark humon is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans
What’s the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A pizza dosent scream in the oven.
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When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good but he says that he doesn’t taste anything
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A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, “hmmm this tastes like arsenic.” He took a sip of another and said, “hmmm this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories.”
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I’ll never forget how my grandmother died. “this lemonade tastes like bleach…”
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Bully: YOU ARE SO STOOPID
Classmate: does nothing
Bully: OI, IM TALKING TO YOU
Classmate: Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you were talking to yourself.
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You’re so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn’t tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
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My phone battery last longer then your relasionships
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Your like a cloud. When you go away, its a beautiful day.
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Eating Chinese food is like getting an оrgаn transplant
There's always a chance your body will reject it.
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I wish I was just like my nose
And all it takes is spicy food to get me to run.
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Facebook and basic cable
Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.
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Why did the man vомiт after eating Middle Eastern food?
It made his stomach falafel.
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Did you know that food coloring is very bad for you?
If you happen to drink too much you will dye.
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A girl was telling me that she stays skinny by throwing up her food right after she eats. When I tried to explain the health risks she stubbornly asked,
"What do you know?"
I replied, "you're not gonna bulimia when I tell you."
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If I ever get to name a food like 'Ceaser Salad' I'm going with 'Salad Later'
"I want salad later"
"I'll have the salad later"
"No one ever complains about the extra air in bags of salad later"
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It's fun being a philosophy major
I get to reflect on why I can't pay for food
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Why is taco salad Donald Trump's favorite Mexican food?
It has a wall around it.
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My girlfriend is a lot like fast food
I only come inside about once a year
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