Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes

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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urinе as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.

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If you think you have shiттy job, what if you were toilet paper!

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Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.

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You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.

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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shiт!" I told her.

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What's worse than 11 dead babies stapled to a tree?
1 dead baby stapled to 11 trees.

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Friend 1:
"I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2:
"What? White?"
Friend 1:
"No, expired."

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Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps?
A: He blew a hole in the toilet.

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Yo mama so dамn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.

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Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny.
Figuring what the hеll, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "рооf," a cloud of smoke.
A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish."
After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of вееr."
The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared.
The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiот. Now we have to рее in the boat."

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Why don't little girls fаrт?
Because they don't have аsshоlеs until they're married.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman. "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman. "I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman. "But I seem to have lost my appetite."

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Q: Why did the gаy man get fired from his job at the sреrм bank?
A: Drinking on the job.

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Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer?
A: They never get old.

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A girl was a рrоsтiтuте, but she did not want her grandma to know.
One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sеx party in a hotel and she was among them.
The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway.
Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her.
"Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked.
Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges.
"Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma.
A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suск them dry!"

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What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

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I am a dog
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up
And give you a shower.

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Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sеx.
"Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom.
"Making a cake" his mom replies.
Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks.
"Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried.
"Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.

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