Harry Potter jokes

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How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?
With Dementos.

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What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
A dumbbell door.

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I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.

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Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.

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On a scale of one to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I?
Nine and three quarters.

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Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?
Because it was making him Moody.

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I love Harry Potter, but after re-reading the chapter “The Deathday Party,” I realized something about Nearly Headless Nick.
He was a very poorly executed character.

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A blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to a stool, and sits down.
He says rather loudly to the barkeep, “Hey, how would you like to hear a Hufflepuff joke?” The bar goes silent and the barkeep replies, “Sir, I will not lie to you. You are speaking to a Hufflepuff. The man behind you is an Auror from Hufflepuff, the woman to your right is a Hufflepuff dueling champion, and we all have our wands drawn. Do you really want to continue?” The blind wizard goes silent for a moment before curtly replying, “No I don’t. Not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”

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How does Harry Potter enter a room?
Through the Gryffin-door.

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Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.

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” Harry, your godfather is dead.”
“Are you serious?!?” “Yep. Dead Sirius.”

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Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!

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How does Harry’s monthly grocery basket take next to no time when ordering online?
Prior-In-Cart-Item.

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Hows does Voldemort enter a room?
He slithers in.

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Why is herbology Slytherin students’ favorite class?
Because it’s in the greenhouse.

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Who/what is this?
Those I defend I do not love,
And those I fight I cannot hate. The one who hates me most Is the one I will die to protect.
Answer: Snape

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Who/what is this?
I was the pride of those who owned me
and a мurdеr sealed my fate, for years my true identity went unknown, and my end was brought by the one who stopped me from finishing off my foe.
Answer: Slytherin Locket

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Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his potions рот and his best friend?
They’re both cauldron.

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