Harry Potter Jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So you’d never know which side he was on.

1

0

What do you call a postal carrier who can speak to packages?
A parcel tongue.

1

0

Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.

1

0

Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?
Because he was cursing in class.

1

0

What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?
“Why so Sirius?”

1

0

How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?
With Dementos.

1

0

What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
A dumbbell door.

1

0

I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.

1

0

How much does it cost to watch Harry Potter play his favorite sport?
A quid each.

1

0

Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.

1

0

On a scale of one to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I?
Nine and three quarters.

1

0

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?
Because it was making him Moody.

1

0

A blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to a stool, and sits down.
He says rather loudly to the barkeep, “Hey, how would you like to hear a Hufflepuff joke?” The bar goes silent and the barkeep replies, “Sir, I will not lie to you. You are speaking to a Hufflepuff. The man behind you is an Auror from Hufflepuff, the woman to your right is a Hufflepuff dueling champion, and we all have our wands drawn. Do you really want to continue?” The blind wizard goes silent for a moment before curtly replying, “No I don’t. Not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”

1

0

How does Harry Potter enter a room?
Through the Gryffin-door.

1

0

Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.

1

0

” Harry, your godfather is dead.”
“Are you serious?!?” “Yep. Dead Sirius.”

1

0

Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!

1

0

Why doesn’t snape teach herbology?
Because his lily died.

1

0