Harry Potter jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

What does Harry Potter have that The Dark Lord doesn’t?
A nose.

1

0

What did Hermione do when Harry and Ron took the flying car to school?
Finally relaxed.

1

0

Where might you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y!

1

0

Why did Harry Potter cross the road?
No reason. But we’re sure someone will still write fаn-fiction about it.

1

0

Is your name Oliver Wood?
Because you’re definitely a keeper.

1

0

Harry Potter fans be like: “I wanna go to Hogwarts!”
Narnia fans be like: “I wanna go to Narnia!” Hunger Games fans be like: “I’m good…”

1

0

Two Hungarian Horntails walk into a pub.
The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.” The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”

1

0

Which side of a centaur has more hair?
The outside.

1

0

Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
Because she gives him hugs and kisses.

1

0

What is bigfoot’s favorite book?
Hairy Potter.

1

0

What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?
Harry Trotter.

1

0

What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children?
Orange Is the New Black.

1

0

What did Harry say to Hermione when she lent him a galleon?
“Thanks for the gold kind, Granger.”

1

0

If Hermione was a mathematician what would her kids be named?
Hermitwo and Hermithree.

1

0

Why doesn’t Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?
Offshore investment gains a better return.

1

0

Why does Ron love his pet rat so much?
It’s the pet-he-grew up with! (Get it? Pettigrew!)

1

0

Why did Ron lose the election?
People thought his elect-Ron campaign was too negative.

1

0

Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?
He was looking in all the Ron places.

1

0