Harry Potter jokes

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Did you survive Avada Kedavra?
Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.

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What does Harry Potter have that The Dark Lord doesn’t?
A nose.

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What did Hermione do when Harry and Ron took the flying car to school?
Finally relaxed.

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The barman says, “We don’t serve time-travelers here.”
Hermione walks into a pub with a Time-Turner.

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Why did Harry Potter cross the road?
No reason. But we’re sure someone will still write fаn-fiction about it.

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Is your name Oliver Wood?
Because you’re definitely a keeper.

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Harry Potter fans be like: “I wanna go to Hogwarts!”
Narnia fans be like: “I wanna go to Narnia!” Hunger Games fans be like: “I’m good…”

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Two Hungarian Horntails walk into a pub.
The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.” The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”

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Which side of a centaur has more hair?
The outside.

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Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
Because she gives him hugs and kisses.

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What is bigfoot’s favorite book?
Hairy Potter.

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What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?
Harry Trotter.

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How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?
Weasley twins are 50 percent off.

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What did Harry say to Hermione when she lent him a galleon?
“Thanks for the gold kind, Granger.”

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If Hermione was a mathematician what would her kids be named?
Hermitwo and Hermithree.

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Why doesn’t Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?
Offshore investment gains a better return.

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Why does Ron love his pet rat so much?
It’s the pet-he-grew up with! (Get it? Pettigrew!)

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Why did Ron lose the election?
People thought his elect-Ron campaign was too negative.

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