Harry Potter jokes

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Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?
He was looking in all the Ron places.

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Ron lives a long, happy life and then dies. What does he reincarnate as?
A neuron.

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Roses are red, violets are blue…
If you don’t like Harry Potter puns, something is Siriusly Ron with you.

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In a snowstorm, Hagrid takes the cremated remains of Harry Potter and throws them out. What does he say?
“You’re a blizzard, Harry!”

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What do wizards in Harry Potter use instead of laxatives?
Expellianus.

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What kind of drink would Harry Potter order at a bar?
Something Gin-ey

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What happens when Harry Potter says accidental?
Someone loses a tooth.

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How does Harry Potter listen to music?
He puts on Sirius XM.

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A wizard walks into a pub and orders a Forgetfulness Potion. He looks to the witch next to him and asks, “So, do I come here often?”

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How do wizards read PDFs?
With a Dobby.

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What did the house-elf say when he came from college?
“Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.”

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What do you call a house-elf in a hotel?
A Dobby in a lobby.

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Top 10 Worst Harry Potter Characters
10. There aren’t
9. Any characters
8. In the Harry Potter series
7. That deserve to be labeled
6. As the worst
5. Because all the characters
4. Have their own
3. Characteristics
2. Which make them unique and interesting
1. Dolores Umbridge

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Hermione: “You’re a great wizard, you really are!”
Harry: “Not as good as you.” Hermione: “I said ‘wizard,’ not ‘witch.'”

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I named my lizard Harry just so I can say, “You’re a lizard, Harry!”

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What did Ron say when he kissed Hermione?
Your parents may be muggles, but that kiss was magical!

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What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell? Gifted.
What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? Pregnant.

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Snape: “VOLDEMORT’S COMING!”
Dumbledore: “Are you serious?” Snape: “No, I’m Severus.”

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