Harry Potter jokes

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On a scale from one to ten, how much do you love Hogwarts? Nine and three quarters.

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What does a wizard say when he gets robbed by a muggle? Somebody muggled me!

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What social media channel does Voldemort use? Instagram, because he wants more followers!

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What would Harry Potter be if he didn’t when to Hogwarts? A python programmer.

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What program do you use to edit your photos? A Dobby Photoshop.

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You take my breath away! – said Harry to the dementors.

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Harry: The Dark Lord has risen again! Dumbledore: Are you Sirius? Harry: No, I’m Harry!

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Why did Neville always sit on two chairs? Because he is a Longbottom.

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Why didn’t Draco become friends with Harry? Because he was running out of breath while saying Harry’s last name.

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Why do two Quidditch players share the same room? Because they are Broom-mates.

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Why did Harry sign up for the gym? Because he loved the dumbbell doors.

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I am Black. No, I am black. You are white. No, i am Black. Are you kidding me? No, I am serious

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After a week in the balkans: anthony hopkins, ben stiller, harry potter, leo di caprio, dr house, barak obama, bruce willis

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Alcohol does great things! Тerrible, yes, but great

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Harry Pothead

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To get the bus to Hogwarts, please run directly at this sign

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Q: Why did Harry Potter have to repeat his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
A: He couldn't spell.

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What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill? Running... JK! Rolling.

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