Three men arrive at a Caribbean beach resort and quickly start talking about their lives and how they got there.
“I used to run a successful business in the Midwest. One day, unfortunately, there was a huge fire and my entire warehouse burned to the ground. I collected the insurance on it and decided to move here,” the first man says.
The other two give a sympathetic nod.
The second one says, “I have somewhat a similar story too. I used to own a jewelry store in Los Angeles, but it was destroyed in a massive break-in one night. I collected the jewelry insurance and relocated down here to settle.” They both look at the third person. He begins, “On the East Coast, I used to run a small fishing business. Unfortunately, a hurricane ruined everything last year. I got my insurance and came here.” The first two guys look at each other for a minute. Finally, one says to the third one, “How do you start a hurricane?”
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.” The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.” The man perks up at this. “So,” the doctor says, “it's for you to decide how many inches you want, but it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.” The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. “So,” says the doctor, “have you spoken with your wife?"
"I have,” says the man. “And has she helped you in making the decision?” asked the doctor. “She has,” says the man. “And what is it?” asks the doctor. “We're getting a new kitchen.”
