Jokes about Superheroes

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Dirтy Places
Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)
Assonet (Massachusetts, USA)
Bastard (Norway)
Bastardstown (County Wexford, Ireland)
Bear Butte (South Dakota, USA)
Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
Beaver Liск Baptist Church (11460 US Hwy 42; Union, KY 41091-9483;USA)
Big Воnе Liск State Park (Kentucky, south of Cincinnati; USA)
Bonar Bridge (Scotland)
Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)
Bumpass Creek (Alabama, USA)
Butte City (Idaho, USA)
Butt's Corner (New York, USA)
Chinaman's Кnов (Australia)
Climax (Colorado, USA)
Climax Springs (Missouri, USA)
Cocksgag (Ohio, USA)
Cocke County (Tennessee, USA)
Cunt (Spain)
Cunter (Switzerland)
Devil's Dyке (United Kingdom)
Dikshit (India)
Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)
Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)
Effin (Limerick, Ireland)
Erect (Randolph County, North Carolina, USA)
Fairy Glen (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Fanny Bay (Australia)
Fertile (Iowa, USA)
Flasher (North Dakota, USA)
Fucking (Part of the municipality of Tarsdorf, in the Innviertel region of Upper Austria)
Frenchman Butte (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Fuku (Shensi, China)
Fukue (Honshu, Japan)
Fukui (Honshu, Japan)
Fukum (Yemen)
Gayhead Island (Martha's Vineyard, MA.....yes there is a ferry to Gayhead Island)
Gaylordsville (Connecticut, USA)
Gassville (Arkansas, USA)
Gnaw Воnе (Indiana, USA)
Hardup (Utah, USA)
Hell (Michigan, USA)
Hold With Hope (Greenland)
Hookersville (West Virginia, USA)
Humptulips (Washington, USA)
Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
Kisslegg (Bavaria, Germany)
Knob Liск (Kentucky, USA)
Koksoak River (Canada)
Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)
Lick Run (Pennsylvania, USA)
Likwang (China)
Little Dix Village (West Indies)
Lord Berkeley's Кnов (Sutherland, Scotland)
Middle Inтеrсоursе Island (Australia)
Moorhead (Mississippi, USA)
Muff (Northern Ireland)
Naked City (Indiana, USA)
Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)
Onenut (California, USA)
Packwood (Iowa, USA)
Penisthorpe (England, recently changed to Pensthorpe) Penistone (South Yorkshire, UK)
Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)
Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
Seymen (Turkey)
Shafter (California, USA)
Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)
Slackbottom (Yorkshire, UK)
Smuts (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Stains (France)
Stillorgan (Ireland)
Smackover (Arkansas, USA)
Tingley (Iowa, USA)
Titisee (Freiburg, Germany)
Tittybong (Australia)
Tong Fuк (Japan)
Top Ryde (New South Wales, Australia)
Turdo (Romania)
Twatt (Orkney, UK)
Wank (Germany)
Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
Wankener (India)
Wankie (Zimbabwe)
Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)
Wanks River (Nicaragua)
Wankum (Germany)
Wet Веаvеr Creek (Australia)
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1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves.  Ten were laid off.
2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin…. and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate
3. Iron man now “air-pooling” with Superman to save fuel costs.
4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money
5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what’s the easiest way tomake a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.
6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I’m now America’s third biggest lender.
7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon.
8. Q: What’s the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
A: In a few weeks, nothing.
9. Dow Jones is re-branded as “Down Jones”.
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Волшебни прозори Ο ξενος Το πένθος... Ο σουπερμάν μεθυσμένος C'est une femme qui vient de larguer son mec На 3000-хилядния етаж на Емпайърстейт бюлдинг Un mec ivre entre dans un bar A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down Kommt ein Mann zu einer Feier im 99. Stockwerk eines Wolkenkratzers. Dort trifft er einen Mann der sagt: "Die Scwingungen dieses Gebäudes sind so gut This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place Un hombre entra a un bar situado en la azotea de un hotel y se sienta junto a otro tipo. - «¿Qué estás bebiendo?» Le pregunta al hombre que tiene a su lado.-«Cerveza mágica» Eine Bar auf einem Hochhaus Det var en gång en amerikan som satt i en bar längst upp i Empire State Building. Då kom det in en norrman och satte sig bredvid amerikanen. Då sa amerikanen: - Jag har kommit på att om man hoppar... Er zitten twee mannen op een dak So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says Dois bêbados estavam num desses bares nas coberturas dos prédios. De repente Un borracho que se encontraba en un bar le dice a otro borracho: Yo puedo brincar de la azotea de este edificio y rebotar. El otro borracho le dice que se lo muestre En man kommer in i baren högst upp i en skyskrapa Dos borrachos reunidos en un bar ubicado en un penthouse Een man loopt een cafe bovenop een wolkenkrabber binnen Sitzen zwei Männer in einer Bar im Hochhaus. Da sagt der eine zu dem anderen: "Wetten wir Mannen kom in på krogen högst upp på hotellet. Han beställde en dubbel wodka Resulta que una señorita llamada katy(una dama de compañía) llega a una de esas fiestas para gente de mucho nivel y dinero Un hombre llega al bar de un gigantezco rascacielos en el último piso. Pide una bebida y le llama la atención un gradulón borracho cerca de él. Mientras lo observa el hombre se tira por la ventana... A guy goes onto a rooftop bar A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back... So Sitzen zwei Typen am Tresen in einer Kneipe oben im 8ten Stock. Meint der eine:“Du Siamo a New York A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you... Egy Manhatteni toronyház felső szintjén lévő bárban két férfi iszogat a bárpultnál egymás mellett. Sorra isszák a whiskeyket Dette finner sted i en skyskraper i New York. I toppen av denne skyskraperen ligger en bar Postávají dva ožralové na střeše mrakodrapu a jeden říká: „Podívej Spring fra skyskrabere Se i USA har de jo mange skyskrabere. På sådan en helt almindelig skyskraber med mange andre skyskrabere omkring Two men are sitting in a restaurant bar at the top of a skyscraper. After each had a few drinks Τρείς μεθυσμένοι
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunк, Superman.”
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A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a вееr. The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his вееr and says, ”You know, I’m not gаy but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?”
The big guy nods slowly. He’s obviously fielded this question many times. ”One day,” he begins, ”I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.”
”No shiт?” says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.
”Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.”’
”Keep going!”
I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. РООF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, nакеd woman.
She said, ”You now have three wishes.”
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, ”I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.” She nodded, snapped her fingers, and РООF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there nакеd!
She then asked, ”What will be your second wish?”
”What next?” begged the bartender.
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, ”I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.” She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours!
Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lоvемакing, she whispered into my ear, ”You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?”
I looked at her and replied, ”How ’bout a little head?”
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летит супермен Ο Σούπερμαν Кога на Супермен му е досадно Супермен бил много отегчен - омръзнало му да се бори непрекъснато с престъпниците. летит супермэн над нью-йорком. видит - на крыше лежит чудо-женщина. голая. раздвинув ноги. закрыв... Ok Superman rencontre Batman : Superman is flying around the city Superman survole la ville et aperçoit sur un balcon Wonder Woman Είναι ο Superman και θέλει απεγνωσμένα να κάνει σεξ. Superman stava sorvolando la terra alla velocità della luce. Improvvisamente vide Wonder Woman che giaceva distesa su una spiaggia deserta Superman was flying around Metropolis when he noticed Wonder Woman lying totally naked Superman est accoudé au comptoir du café du coin En kväll var stålmannen sugen på att gå ut och festa C'est superman qui vole au dessus de Metropolis. Là Op een mooie dag heeft Superman genoeg van al dat mensen redden en is botweg retegeil! Lois Lane zit weer eens verwikkeld in een druk interview super kahramanlarin katildigi buyuk toplantiya katilmasi gereken superman toplantiya 1 saat gec kalmis. ve toplanti odasina girdiginde de hali perisanmis. batman sormus: - hey Un día estaba SUPERMAN volando alrededor de la guarida de los justicieros Estaba Superman super caliente volando por el cielo necesitado Teräsmies lenteli taivaalla ja näki kerrostalon katolla ihmenaisen ilkialastomana ottamassa aurinkoa. Teräsmies ajatteli: ”Mitäs jos kävisisin vetämässä pikaiset C’est Superman qui rencontre Batman. Il raconte : - L’autre soir Superman meséli: - Te Batman Superman és Batman mesélik egymásnak kalandjainkat. Mondja Superman: - Múltkor Летит как-то Бэтмен Superman wil effe lekker los. Dus hij belt de man van zes miljoen en zegt: "Hee lullo ga je mee zuipen?" Waarop het antwoord is: "Nee Cica era odata Superman si zbura deasupra unui zgarie-nori. La un moment dat o vede pe Femeia-Fantastica intinsa pe un bloc exact in pozitie Teräsmies oli eräänä kauniina päivänä lentelemässä ihan vaan huvin vuoksi. Yhtäkkiä hän huomasi ihailemansa Kissanaisen ilkosillaan haarat levällään erään rakennuksen katolla. Nyt täytyy käyttää... Superhelte Supermand har haft en hård dag og beslutter derfor at samle nogle af vennerne og smutte ned på den lokale bar og få et par øl. Han ringer til Batman
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Волшебни прозори Ο ξενος Το πένθος... Ο σουπερμάν μεθυσμένος C'est une femme qui vient de larguer son mec На 3000-хилядния етаж на Емпайърстейт бюлдинг Un mec ivre entre dans un bar A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down Kommt ein Mann zu einer Feier im 99. Stockwerk eines Wolkenkratzers. Dort trifft er einen Mann der sagt: "Die Scwingungen dieses Gebäudes sind so gut This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place Un hombre entra a un bar situado en la azotea de un hotel y se sienta junto a otro tipo. - «¿Qué estás bebiendo?» Le pregunta al hombre que tiene a su lado.-«Cerveza mágica» Eine Bar auf einem Hochhaus Det var en gång en amerikan som satt i en bar längst upp i Empire State Building. Då kom det in en norrman och satte sig bredvid amerikanen. Då sa amerikanen: - Jag har kommit på att om man hoppar... Er zitten twee mannen op een dak So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says Dois bêbados estavam num desses bares nas coberturas dos prédios. De repente Un borracho que se encontraba en un bar le dice a otro borracho: Yo puedo brincar de la azotea de este edificio y rebotar. El otro borracho le dice que se lo muestre En man kommer in i baren högst upp i en skyskrapa Dos borrachos reunidos en un bar ubicado en un penthouse Een man loopt een cafe bovenop een wolkenkrabber binnen Sitzen zwei Männer in einer Bar im Hochhaus. Da sagt der eine zu dem anderen: "Wetten wir Mannen kom in på krogen högst upp på hotellet. Han beställde en dubbel wodka Resulta que una señorita llamada katy(una dama de compañía) llega a una de esas fiestas para gente de mucho nivel y dinero Un hombre llega al bar de un gigantezco rascacielos en el último piso. Pide una bebida y le llama la atención un gradulón borracho cerca de él. Mientras lo observa el hombre se tira por la ventana... A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila A guy goes onto a rooftop bar So Sitzen zwei Typen am Tresen in einer Kneipe oben im 8ten Stock. Meint der eine:“Du Siamo a New York A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you... Egy Manhatteni toronyház felső szintjén lévő bárban két férfi iszogat a bárpultnál egymás mellett. Sorra isszák a whiskeyket Dette finner sted i en skyskraper i New York. I toppen av denne skyskraperen ligger en bar Postávají dva ožralové na střeše mrakodrapu a jeden říká: „Podívej Spring fra skyskrabere Se i USA har de jo mange skyskrabere. På sådan en helt almindelig skyskraber med mange andre skyskrabere omkring Two men are sitting in a restaurant bar at the top of a skyscraper. After each had a few drinks Τρείς μεθυσμένοι
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Волшебни прозори Ο ξενος Το πένθος... Ο σουπερμάν μεθυσμένος C'est une femme qui vient de larguer son mec На 3000-хилядния етаж на Емпайърстейт бюлдинг Un mec ivre entre dans un bar A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down Kommt ein Mann zu einer Feier im 99. Stockwerk eines Wolkenkratzers. Dort trifft er einen Mann der sagt: "Die Scwingungen dieses Gebäudes sind so gut This guy goes up to a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looks like a nice place Un hombre entra a un bar situado en la azotea de un hotel y se sienta junto a otro tipo. - «¿Qué estás bebiendo?» Le pregunta al hombre que tiene a su lado.-«Cerveza mágica» Eine Bar auf einem Hochhaus Det var en gång en amerikan som satt i en bar längst upp i Empire State Building. Då kom det in en norrman och satte sig bredvid amerikanen. Då sa amerikanen: - Jag har kommit på att om man hoppar... Er zitten twee mannen op een dak So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says Dois bêbados estavam num desses bares nas coberturas dos prédios. De repente Un borracho que se encontraba en un bar le dice a otro borracho: Yo puedo brincar de la azotea de este edificio y rebotar. El otro borracho le dice que se lo muestre En man kommer in i baren högst upp i en skyskrapa Dos borrachos reunidos en un bar ubicado en un penthouse Een man loopt een cafe bovenop een wolkenkrabber binnen Sitzen zwei Männer in einer Bar im Hochhaus. Da sagt der eine zu dem anderen: "Wetten wir Mannen kom in på krogen högst upp på hotellet. Han beställde en dubbel wodka Resulta que una señorita llamada katy(una dama de compañía) llega a una de esas fiestas para gente de mucho nivel y dinero Un hombre llega al bar de un gigantezco rascacielos en el último piso. Pide una bebida y le llama la atención un gradulón borracho cerca de él. Mientras lo observa el hombre se tira por la ventana... A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila A guy goes onto a rooftop bar A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back... Sitzen zwei Typen am Tresen in einer Kneipe oben im 8ten Stock. Meint der eine:“Du Siamo a New York A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you... Egy Manhatteni toronyház felső szintjén lévő bárban két férfi iszogat a bárpultnál egymás mellett. Sorra isszák a whiskeyket Dette finner sted i en skyskraper i New York. I toppen av denne skyskraperen ligger en bar Postávají dva ožralové na střeše mrakodrapu a jeden říká: „Podívej Spring fra skyskrabere Se i USA har de jo mange skyskrabere. På sådan en helt almindelig skyskraber med mange andre skyskrabere omkring Two men are sitting in a restaurant bar at the top of a skyscraper. After each had a few drinks Τρείς μεθυσμένοι
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A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying “Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!” When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying “Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!” Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs. "For the last time Superman, get out of my bar, you’re drunк and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
“Where did all the others go, then?”
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