Love Jokes

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Dear men, "I don't want anything for Valentine's Day" is the same as "I'm fine." You're welcome.

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Happiness is like peeing in your pants … …
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Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth

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Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock.

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The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. ...Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.

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Girl friend (whilst having a romantic dinner at a restaurant):
"Say something which spurs my heart-beat"
Boy-Friend:
"I forgot to bring any money"

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I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I'll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I'd do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.

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I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I'll never love you any less than I do, right this second.

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Love is not the number of times you kissed her, but the number of moments you were dying to kiss her.

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No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.

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If a woman has fallen - an idiот will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her.

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Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

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Why do men like love at first sight? Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth.

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I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

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No matter what has happened. No matter what you've done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it.

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Two friends, a guy and a girl, were having a chat...

Guy: Do you know I like a girl, but I don't think that she would like me.
Girl: Don't worry, she will like you. I bet you ten dollars that she will definitely like you!
Guy: Okay, then fine, we have a deal. (Pause) Do you like me?
Girl: Nope, you are not my type.
Guy: You owe me ten dollars.

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The less you love a woman, the faster your hand gets tired.

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I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself

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What has 4 wheels 2 legs and loves his shoulder
Stephen hawking

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