Most popular jokes

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Blue Collar Jokes

Father to his son:
Do you know why I call your mother my Death Star?
Because she makes my world explode!

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Star Wars Jokes

For fсuк’s sake, what a mess to sort out.
I can’t believe I’ve mixed their Valentine’s Day cards up.
The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fсuк her.

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Valentine's Day Jokes Dating Jokes

Keys to a good friendship.
Same taste in alcohol. Different taste in women.

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Friendship Jokes Jokes about Women Drinking and Drunk Jokes Funny Quotes

You might be a redneck if your daughter's sweet sixteen is sponsored by Budweiser.

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Redneck jokes

So the Judge asks the Policeman........
So officer what do you think about the man that was shot using a starting pistol ?
The Policeman said "I think it was Race related your honour"

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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Judge and Court Jokes

Cigarettes aren't good for you, neither are women but I ain't about to go gаy.

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Drug Jokes Jokes about Women

What came first: the chicken or the egg?
The rooster
Friend : I understand how you can get Sam from Samantha, I also understand how you can get Matt from Matthew…….but how do you get Diск from Richard?!!?
Me: If you ask nicely!!…….:D
Premature Еjасulатiоn: The Movie
Coming soon.
Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place where others find pleasure!
Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own
Q: What’s common between men and video player?
A: Both go backward…forward.backward…forward…stop and eject
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means You are FUСКЕD…

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Friendship Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Funny Riddles Gynecology Jokes

I would tell you a joke about my реnis but it's too long.

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Bar and Bartender Jokes

An angel appears at a College faculty meeting and tells the Dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty. Without hesitating, the Dean selects infinite wisdom.

“Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the Dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”

The Dean sighs and says, “I should have taken the money.”

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College jokes Money jokes

Tooth Fairy

Dear _________________________________

Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of
lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request
for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken воnе are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of
our visit
( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or
were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following
certificate, which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near
you.

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the
future.

Sincerely,

The Tooth Fairy

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Dentist Jokes Dog jokes

It gets kinda awkward when you’re stuck slap ваng in the middle of a couple starting a full blown argument right in front of you…
They could have at least waited for me to pull my pants up and leave their bedroom first.

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Cheating Jokes

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After eating he pulls out a gun, shoots the place to the ground, and runs away. Quickly the bartender runs after him yelling, "HEY YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!" The panda turns around and yells "Yes I can. Look me up in the encyclopedia!" So, the bartender looks up "Panda" in the encyclopedia, and it reads "Panda: increasingly rare species of bear that can be found in the eastern part of Asia. It eats shoots and leaves.”

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Animal Jokes Asian jokes Restaurant Jokes

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
We’re having sex
Cause i’m stronger than you.

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Sex Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Criminal Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to rub my вrеаsтs.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Неll, no! He just yelled, “April Fools!” And that’s when I shot the little ваsтаrd.

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Friendship Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes April Fools' Jokes

I should write a роор joke about Russia. It goes like this:
'Hey Bill, why you Russian?' 'Oh, I'm in a hurry because I have a horrible case of the Trotskys.' 'I've got the opposite problem, Bill. I have the Stalins.' 'Well, at least you don't have to worry about ruining your Lenins.'

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Nationality Jokes Russian Jokes

How Many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer 10

1 to change it and 9 to sing about how good the old one was ;-)

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Light bulb jokes

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ...so I said "Implants?"

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Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes Flirt jokes

Yo momma so sтuрid she got locked in a matruss store and slept on the floor!

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Yo Momma Jokes

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and ваnging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

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Friendship Jokes Office and Work Jokes God Jokes Men jokes Baby Jokes Nurse jokes Hotel Jokes Boss Jokes

Most Popular Jokes