Music jokes, Musician Jokes
Sam Frank and Frank Sam were best friends. They did everything together, and they both loved music. Sam Frank was an accomplished pianist and Frank Sam was a harpist. They spent many happy hours playing duets. They both happened to die on the same day.
Frank Sam went to heaven, but apparently Sam Frank led a life that was not as chaste, for he ended up in Неll. After a few weeks, Frank Sam began to miss his life long friend so he went to Sаinт Peter and asked if he could go down and visit him in Неll. Sаinт Peter, after much discussion agreed, but told Frank Sam he must be back before midnight. The Pearly Gates closed at the last strike of the clock, and if he wasn't back he would have to remain in Неll forever.
Frank grabbed his harp and went to visit Sam. When he got down there, he discovered that Sam Frank was doing OK in Неll. He was the manager of a disco. The two old friends had a wonderful time together. They spent the day playing duets, and that night, they danced and partied in the disco. Suddenly Frank Sam heard the clock begin to strike midnight. He ran out of the disco and flew back to heaven as fast as he could. He barely made it in before the gates closed.
Soon after he arrived, he gasped and desperately started searching for Sаinт Peter. When he found him, he told Sаinт Peter that he had to go back to Неll right away. When Sаinт Peter asked why, Frank Sam began to wail, "I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco..."
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music.
No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds
it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.
Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious,
the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth
Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played
in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
"Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously, "He's decomposing!"
A elderly lady, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Ноотеrs restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?”
The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a nакеd man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”
“Well, that's okay, I’ll just look the other way,” she said.
The bartender then showed the elderly lady to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give her a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”
“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.”