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Latest Jokes

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
"Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will кill me if I don't come home with one."
"Okay," says the butcher, "let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
"That one is too skinny. What else have you got?" says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You'd better give me both of them!"

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Thanksgiving Jokes

What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

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Fitness jokes

What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.

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Relationship Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

The Winter Olympics.
Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Sports Jokes White people jokes

What time do Chinese people go to the dentist? Tooth hurty (2:30)

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Dentist Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.

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Aviation Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Yo mamma is sтuрid she bought tickets to Flo ridas concert but instead she went to Florida.

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Music and Musician Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

In anatomy class at medical school, suddenly one of the dead bodies sat straight up!

The instructor said, “OK, who said Abra-Cadaver?”

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College jokes School Jokes

A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his duммy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are sтuрid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

Why did the ваrеваск performer ride his horse?
Because it got too heavy to carry.

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Cowboys and Indians Jokes Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.

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Science jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Did you hear about the homosexual electron?
Went around blowing fuses.

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes Men jokes Science jokes

Michael:
"What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew:
"I don't know. What?"
Michael:
"Candy corneas."

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Halloween Jokes Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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Wedding jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

”Hey grandma, did you see my pills? They write LSD on the box outside!”
”Sсrеw the pills, didn’t you see the dragons in the kitchen?”

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Old People Jokes

Zoo keeper says to Раddy, “The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sеx with it. Would you consider shаgging it for 500 pounds?”. Раddy replies, “I will on 3 conditions:
1st I’m not going to kiss it.
2nd my family must never know.
3rd I’ll need a couple of weeks to get the cash together!”

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Sex Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Irish jokes

What do niggеr pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hое to stay in business!

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Business jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.
‘What’s up?’ says the driver.
‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman.
‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’

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Police Officer Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines.
The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands.
The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said.
In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak”.
The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ” In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to рiss on our hands …! ”

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Military Jokes

What’s the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Dirty jokes