Jokes about Bosses

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Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once?
So people can’t see that the company works without them..

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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes Boss Jokes

Out in the middle of darkest Africa there was a White Missionary living with a tribe of black natives.
One day the big chief comes along and calls the Missionary into his hut, where he was sharpening his big axe.
He explains to the white man that his daughter has just given birth to a white baby, and that since the missionary’s the only white man for thousands of miles, the missionary will be the “main course” at dinner that night.
“Now just hang on a minute, give me a chance to explain, chief,” says the Missionary, “you’re jumping to conclusions here. Let me tell you a story. See all those white sheep out in the field and how there’s one black one amongst them.”
The Chief thinks for a moment, “OK!” says the Chief, “You say nothing, and I say nothing.”

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Religion jokes Men jokes Africa Jokes Boss Jokes

A man looking for a job."... And remember we are very keen about clenliness. Did you wipe your shoes before entering” asked the manager. "Oh, yes sir."
Replied the man. The manager narrowed his eyes and said, “We are also very keen about the truth. There is no mat."

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Men jokes Business jokes Boss Jokes

If I won the Lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs.
I’d make my boss’s life a living hеll for a week or two first.

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Money jokes Boss Jokes

During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password:
GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix
When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said,
"The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."

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Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar. His boss, instead of asking about the details, asked if were sick as he looked absolutely terrible.
"Well..." said the Engineer, "I met this blonde and turned out she was an engineer-in-training and wanted me to tutor her. One thing lead to another and we ended up back in her room having wild gorilla sеx all night."
"OK," replied the boss, "that may explain your fatigue, but why are your eyes so red?"
"Well..." said the Engineer, "turns out she was married and had a baby at home. She started crying, and I started thinking about my own wife and kids, so I cried too."
"I see," chided the boss, "but that seminar ended Friday. How come you still appear so ragged?"
"Well..." said the Engineer, "you can't sit there and cry 4-5 times a day for four days and not look like this."

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Blonde Jokes Friday jokes Boss Jokes

A neighbor is talking to his friend who is cutting his grass in a three piece suit, white shirt, tie and dress shoes.
"Why are you dress like this cutting your grass?" the neighbor asked.
His friend replies, "It's a trade off. The boss gives us 'Casual Friday' if we dress up on the weekend."

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Friday jokes Boss Jokes

It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. There is never any dust or lint in the ventilation ducts.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames or explode.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a вlоw to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it””s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
An electric fence, powerful enough to кill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes News and Politics Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Communication Jokes Boss Jokes Alien Jokes

My boss said, “Why are all the women in your office crying?”
I said, “You told me to ваng some heads together.”
He said, “Talk about taking things too literally!”
So I went away and prepared a two hour lecture on taking things too literally.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Masturbation jokes Boss Jokes

If your wife's boss paid for her воов job, you might be a redneck.

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Redneck jokes Boss Jokes

A secretary has been to London with her boss. When she is back at the office one of her colleagues asks her if the boss has shown her Big Ben.

"Yes, already on the boat."

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Office and Work Jokes Business jokes Secretary Jokes Boss Jokes

Me "Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! Can I take your Mcorder?"
Boss "You don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
Me "Oh okay. Hi! Welcome to Donalds! Can I take your order?"
Boss "Get out."

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Office and Work Jokes Business jokes Management Jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Boss Jokes

This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sеxy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?"
He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?"
She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..."
Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss."
She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins suскing them, thinking "I'm in!!!"
She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?"
The bartender nods...yes.
"Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."

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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Boss Jokes

Two firemen are вuтт fuскing in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shiт got started..."

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Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Boss Jokes