Relationship Jokes

I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.

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My girlfriend told me that will change me.
I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!

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Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes Love Jokes Couple jokes

Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man's arm around the woman.
The man says "Lookit them hомо-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution.
"We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. "
"Right, Darlin."
The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."

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Redneck jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Couple jokes

One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”

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Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

Me: "I'm so lonely."
Person: "Hey!"
Me: "Leave me alone."

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Relationship Jokes

A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
"What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?"
"Well, I don't know" she answers shyly.
"OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"

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Valentine's Day Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

A girlfriend said to me during sеx that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!

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Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his аss.

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Boycott Jokes Rude Jokes Cannibal Jokes

Q: What do you call a lеsвiаn with eight girlfriends?
A: An octopus.

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Lesbian jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man knit his brow.
"Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad. "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"

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Scottish Jokes Money jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. John said,
“I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.”
“Wow!" said Bob, “how did you manage that?”
“It’s easy,” replied John, “my last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."

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Relationship Jokes Office and Work Jokes

Young kids use a dating app on their phones.
Older kids use a dating website on their computers.
Adults use a matchmaking service to get dates.
Senior citizens meet potential dates at church events.
Anyone older than that will have to resort to carbon dating.

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Old People Jokes Relationship Jokes Dating Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?"
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'."
The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you."
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."

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Men jokes Valentine's Day Jokes Relationship Jokes Love Jokes

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

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Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women

I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black соndом.
Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?"
"My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Boss Jokes

My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.

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Relationship Jokes Insult Jokes

Bro, send me some good jokes.
Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend.
Good One! Send me more.

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Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes Love Jokes

My girlfriend has incredible sеxuаl skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!

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Sex Jokes Technology Jokes Dirty jokes Relationship Jokes

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.
I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.

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Terrorist jokes Dark Humor Jokes Relationship Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Japanese Jokes