Relationship Jokes

My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her.
It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.

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Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."

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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Stupid Jokes Dog jokes

The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shiт!" I told her.

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Mean Jokes Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.

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Yo Momma Jokes Old People Jokes Relationship Jokes

Yesterday I lost my pen.
Today I saw it in my girlfriend's hand When I told her: "My PEN IS in your hand."
She began to laugh.
I don't why...

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Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes

Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a week?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a month?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Will you remember me in a year?"
Her: "Yes."
Me: "Ok, I have a joke.
Her: "Ok."
Me: "Knock, knock."
Her: "Who's there?"
Me: "You didn't remember me."

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Knock-knock jokes Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes

A young couple were on their honeymoon.
The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink?
I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink.
Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath?
I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom.
He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."
And she says, "So have I, honey."
To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."

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Dating Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Couple jokes

I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Men jokes Music and Musician Jokes Relationship Jokes Single People Jokes

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

Roses are red
violets are blue
I have 5 fingers
the middle one for you.

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Funny Poems Pick-Up Lines Jokes Insult Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Relationship Jokes

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gаy, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Friendship Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Restaurant Jokes

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."

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Engineer Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes Life Jokes

"Does she have a boyfriend?"
"Yes, a cute, strong and clever one."
"What's the name?"
"John, Michael and Bill."

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Relationship Jokes Jokes about Women

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
sugar is sweet,
but nothing compared to you.

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Relationship Jokes Food Jokes Flirt jokes Love Jokes

On New Year's Eve, a woman stood up at a local pub and said it was time to get ready for the midnight countdown. At the sтrоке of midnight, she wanted every husband to stand next to the one person who made his life worth living. As the clock struck midnight, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Bar and Bartender Jokes Relationship Jokes New year jokes

"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."

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Student jokes Relationship Jokes Math Jokes Phone jokes School Jokes Cheating Jokes

Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?"
Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."

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Divorce Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Relationship Jokes