One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Google request:
How to disable autocorrect in wife?

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I'm about as рissеd off as a мidgет with a yo-yo.

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Practice safe lunch; use a condiment.

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Today I feel like I don't have enough middle fingers.

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I once bought shoes in China that said,
"Made around the corner."

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I wonder how long it would take for a giraffe to throw up.

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I hate it when I'm singing a song and THE ARTIST gets the words wrong.

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I'm too busy to hang out with you, I have a long day of converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

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Apparently the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.

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Воовs. Because you can't motorboat her personality.

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My favorite machine in the gym is the water fountain.

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Вiтсh, I'm not Willy Wonka, I don't sugar coat shiт.

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I almost went to jail today, Monopoly gets intense.

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There are 2 reasons never to drink toilet water. Number 1 and Number 2.

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I try to маsтurвате big words into my jokes, even if I don't know what they mean.

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I named my реnis "The Truth" because вiтсhеs can't handle it.

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I have an itch. Scratch that, I had an itch.

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