One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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Friends are like snowflakes. Рее on them and they go away.

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I like to name my ipod 'Titanic' so when it says 'Syncing Titanic' I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.

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S(he) didn't (m)ake him (a) san(d)wich.

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If karma doesn't hit you..... I fuскing will.

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That 3 second lap dance u get at the movies when someone walks by.....

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I wonder if tap dancers ever walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, "I'd tap that."

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If you ever google "Gary Oldman" for fuскs sake don't forget the "R"

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I used to play sports until I realized I could buy trophies... Now I'm good at everything.

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Maybe your diск is so small because you took 3/4 of it and shoved it in your personality.

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Me and my dog share a very common lifestyle. We eat, sleep, and huмр things.

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If you hit someone with a dictionary... is that physical or verbal abuse?

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You this read wrong.

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Dear MTV,
What the fuск happened?
Sincerely, Music.

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I Just got banned from Lowes. Every time I walk in the store I set off all the stud finders.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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If someone sexts you and you didn't want them to, does that mean you got molexted?

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I hate сriррlе jokes. I cant stand them.

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Taking a dump in a bar is the equivalent of eating spinach as a kid... I will do everything in my power to avoid it.

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