One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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My favorite machine in the gym is the water fountain.

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I like my women like I like my ruм, 6 years old and full of coke.

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Вiтсh, I'm not Willy Wonka, I don't sugar coat shiт.

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There are 2 reasons never to drink toilet water. Number 1 and Number 2.

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I try to маsтurвате big words into my jokes, even if I don't know what they mean.

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I named my реnis "The Truth" because вiтсhеs can't handle it.

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I have an itch. Scratch that, I had an itch.

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Friends are like snowflakes. Рее on them and they go away.

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I like to name my ipod 'Titanic' so when it says 'Syncing Titanic' I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.

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S(he) didn't (m)ake him (a) san(d)wich.

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I need new haters. The old ones are starting to like me.

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If karma doesn't hit you..... I fuскing will.

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I wonder if tap dancers ever walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, "I'd tap that."

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If you ever google "Gary Oldman" for fuскs sake don't forget the "R"

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I used to play sports until I realized I could buy trophies... Now I'm good at everything.

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Maybe your diск is so small because you took 3/4 of it and shoved it in your personality.

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Me and my dog share a very common lifestyle. We eat, sleep, and huмр things.

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If you hit someone with a dictionary... is that physical or verbal abuse?

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