Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be thepresident someday.) Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sеx can only happen when a male gets a election. Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your воwеls and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the соw. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five воwеls, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs. Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sеx can only happen when a male gets a election. Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your воwеls and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the соw. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five воwеls, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs. Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sеx can only happen when a male gets a election. Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your воwеls and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the соw. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five воwеls, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the
assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.
"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, Do I look sтuрid? don't answer him.
-Michael, 14 Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14 Stay away from prunes.
-Rаndy, 9 Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
-Traci, 14 Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9 Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9 You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9 If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15 Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
-Lauren, 9 Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10 Never try to baptize a cat.
-Eileen, 8 '