Social Networks

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I was at an important job interview today and was asked “ are u on Facebook”
“No I’m not” I replied.
“are u on Twitter"
"No”
“Instagram?"
"Nope”
“Look just put your fuскing phone away, will u ?”

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I can see Jennifer Lawrence is trending on Twitter but I don’t know why.
I’ve had a quick look but i can’t find anything on her…

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BBC News: Internet trolls face longer sentences.
The news comes as Twitter have announced they will be increasing the number of characters from 140 to 200.

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I remember in the 90’s when Instagram was the name of my сосаinе dealer.

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The problem with twitter is that you always run out of chara-

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If you get coffee from a coffee shop and don't put it on Instagram, did it really happen?

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How Churches might be in 2020:

PASTOR: Praise the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!

PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon. Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WiFi using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you’re welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker.

CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held live on Skype @1900hrsGMT. By the way, you may follow the Pastor on Twitter for counseling and don’t forget our weekly prayers on YouTube. God bless you all.

CONGREGATION: Amen!

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I just saw butter trending on twitter….
Someone must have spread the word.

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I'm thinking of getting off Facebook, getting off Twitter. You know why? I just want to sign up for a service that, every hour, texts me the message 'You're not alone.' I think that would do the trick.

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I predict that in the future, Youtube,Twitter, and Facebook will merge to create one super time-wasting site called YouTwitFace.

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At breakfast this morning, my wife said she’s leaving me because of my obsession with Twitter.
I nearly choked on my #Toast

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I haven’t got a twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I’m doing at random times.
I’ve got three followers so far, but I think two are cops.

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Twitter. The bit of skin between тwат and shitter

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I was trying to explain the concept of Twitter to my mate.
He said, “I don’t follow you.”

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Tweeter - Elon Musk

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