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Sports Jokes

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Q: Why is basketball the grossest sport there is?
A: The players dribble all over the court.
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Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
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Why did the bald man take up running?
To get some fresh 'air.
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
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Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place?
Well, it could have been worse.
How?
There could have been more teams in the league!
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Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
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Where's the safest place to be when a bunch of white guys are playing basketball?
Under the Hoop
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A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.
"Yes?"
"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said,
"Do you have the time?" The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15". The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.
"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"
"8:25!"
The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!" Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.
"Sir, sir? It's 8:45!."
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Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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Q: What's the difference between a girl's G-spot and a golf ball?
A: A man will spend hours looking for a golf ball.
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
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Two guys are out hunting deer...
The first guy says, "Did you see that?...pointing to the sky."
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead!" the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, pointing to a far ridge, the first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind?
There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there!"
"Yah, Ok", says the second guy again with a bit of irritation in his voice.
A few minutes later the first guy says:
"Did you see that?"
This time pointing behind them.
By now, the second guy is getting very aggravated and says, "Yah, I SAW IT!"
And the first guy says:
"Then why did you step in it?"
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Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A:
"Oh ваlls."
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Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other:
"You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says:
"But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says:
"Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time.
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To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
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