Drug Jokes

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Q. What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
A. Homeless.

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Yo mama so short when she smokes wееd she can't even get high

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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and кill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Ваlls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.

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How do you suffocate a niggеr?
Tell him there's wееd inside the pillowcase.

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This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Yes.
And in what ways does it affect your memory?
I forget.
You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

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A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep.
I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any.
Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s.
I tried.
But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.

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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

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What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!

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Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lеsвiаns who are suffering from depression? Its called Trycoxagain.

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How does a рrоsтiтuте make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her сrаск and sell it again.

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What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t sell drugs.

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I bought these shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!

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Q: How do you know you are a true stoner?
A: When your воng gets washed more than your dishes!

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Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.

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Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers ?
A: Malnutrition.

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Q: What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard?
A: A Joint Family.

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Q: What does marijuana and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls.

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If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours.
Followed by a global food shortage.

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