Waiter Jokes, Waiters Jokes

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A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow.
The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the теsтiсlе dish.
When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small.
He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".

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Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
Great food but no atmosphere.

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Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!"
Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."

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Benny had told all his friends about the delicious steak he'd eaten in the Delancey Street restaurant the day before. So they decided to go down there and see if it was really as large and delicious as he said.
But, much to their disappointment, the waiter brought them the tiniest steak they'd ever seen."
See here, my good man," Benny barked. "I was in this restaurant yesterday, and you served me a big, juicy steak, and now today, when I've organized a party and highly recommended this place, you serve such a small one."
"Yes, sir," replied the waiter. "But yesterday you were sitting by the window."

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The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."

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A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"

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The waitress asked how I would like my coffee.
I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".

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Guy goes every day to the same diner, looks over the menu, and always orders the same thing: ham and eggs. Every day, the same thing: ham and eggs. Waitress decides to play a trick on him and scratches it from the menu.
He comes in, she says, "You know that thing you like so much? I scratched it."
"Well, wash off your hand and get me some ham and eggs."

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Customer: "Waiter, do you serve сrавs?"
Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."

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Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?"
Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?"
Customer: "No, I can’t."
Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"

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A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."

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A man asked for a meal in a restaurant.
The waiter brought the food and put it on the table.
After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."

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A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."

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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup."
Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."

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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."

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If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

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1

My girlfriend is 19 and I’m 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a реdо, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

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What is a cannibal’s favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.

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