Mother in law jokes

Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.”
Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery.
I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid.
”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”.
”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hеll of a fight!”

40 0

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her.
He called his mother to share his good news with her.
He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee.
When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one.
He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
"How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."

76 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Wedding jokes Blonde Jokes

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat.
The women just won’t leave him alone.
His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!"
His wife says, "Stay more to the left."
After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"

380 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession.
At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people.
Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this?
The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”
Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”
He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!”
So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?”
He responds, “Get on line!”

41 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him:
"What happened here, man?"
"Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said.
"Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?"
"My dog bit her…"
"You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?"
"Get in line!"

42 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Dog jokes

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride.
"Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance."
Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him.
"It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye.
"Holy соw", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?"
"I just don't like her", she replied.

42 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Wedding jokes

Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"?
A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!

84 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

- Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
- Two mothers-in-law.

42 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law.
During their vacation in Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial.
The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive.
It could cost him as much as $5,000.00.
The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem.
This would only cost him $150.00.
George thinks for some time and answers,
"I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back, that’s what I want to do."
The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."
"No, it’s not that," says George.
"You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can’t take that chance!"

42 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes American Jokes

I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, "wow, how did you do that."
I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, "but then I'd have to кill you."
After a moments pause the same voice screamed out "can you tell my mother in law?"

42 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Things Men Don't Say:
- Let's watch Lifetime.
- Sеx is overrated.
- I don't want to go too far on the first date.
- Yes, your sister does have вiggеr вrеаsтs than you.
- Don't we owe your mother a visit?
- I'm relieved I don't have a large реnis weighing me down.
- Dessert goes right to my hips.
- I hate when I miss Oprah.
- Does this suit make me look fат?
- I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.

30 0

Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Two cannibals are eating dinner, and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles then."

21 0

Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes

Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she cries, the tears run down her back.

57 0

Yo Momma Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes

My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me.
She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"

70 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Нiтlеr".

43 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Hitler Jokes

Knock-knock
Who is there?
A shattered реnis with many diseases.
What kind of illness?
Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis...
Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.

66 0

Knock-knock jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes Vulgar jokes

Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"

73 0

Cannibal Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

One night my mother in law came to our home.
In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC.
She farted.
I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"

74 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Gross Jokes Military Jokes Terrorist jokes Fart Jokes

I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!

76 0

Mother-in-Law Jokes Communication Jokes

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!

76 0

Gross Jokes Military Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes Chemistry Jokes Fart Jokes