Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes
“Advice For Young Girlfriends”
How do I know if I’m ready for sеx?
Ask your boyfriend. He’ll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sеx, men are much more responsible, since they’re not as emotionally confused as women. It’s a proven fact.
Should I have sеx on the first date?
YES. Before if possible.
What exactly happens during the act of sеx?
Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.
How long should the sеx act last?
This is a natural and normal part of nature, so don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you’ve finished making love, he’ll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly and go out with his mates to play golf. Or
Perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the pub for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol and sharing a few personal thoughts with his mates. Don’t feel left out - while he’s gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the flat, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He’ll come back when he’s ready.
What is “afterplay?”
After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. “Afterplay” is simply a
List of important activities for you to do after lоvемакing. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.
Does the size of the реnis matter?
Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average еrест male реnis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover’s sеxuаl оrgаn is four inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his flat, or buying him an expensive gift.
What about the female оrgаsм?
What about it? There’s no such thing. It’s a myth.
Night Out With The Guys!
Randy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddies.
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his ruмр.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Rаndy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his вuтт cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Rаndy woke up with searing pain in both his head and вuтт and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, ‘You were drunк again last night, weren’t you?’
Randy said, ‘Why would you say such a mean thing?
’‘Well,’ Kathleen said, ‘it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ……. it’s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.