American Presidents

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How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform?
By giving their mistresses free вrеаsт implants!

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Will health care be different under Barack Obama's new reforms?
No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then!

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Why do you want Obama in your band?
He has smoked rocks and knows how to roll (wееd).

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Why is it pointless for Barack Obama to hold Senior Citizens Q & A sessions on the internet?
Because microwave ovens don't have internet connections!

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Under Obama's health care plan can you get coverage for preexisting conditions?
Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment!

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Republicans: "Obama would not have won without blacks, Hispanics, gаys or Jews."
Democrats: "Or as we like to call them: Americans"

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How can Barack Obama get the rich to pay their taxes?
By nominating them to a cabinent post!

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What did Barack Obama tell Al Qaida after Osama Bin Laden's death?
Don't put your contact info on the Playstation Network!

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Did you hear who Barack Obama thinks is more dangerous than Dictators in the Middle East?
Reverend Jeremiah Wright and a microphone!

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Why is it surprising that Diск Cheney and Barack Obama are related?
Because Diск Cheney now has more blacks and gаys in his own family than in the entire Republican Party!

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Why shouldn't Sarah Palin look into Barack Obama's campaign contributions after learning "Obama may have received $3.3 million from abroad?"
It turns out that broad is Oprah Winfrey!

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Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
To help the other side!

A muslim, a socialist, and a communist walk into a bar.
The bartender says hello Mr.President.

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Whats Obama's new slogan in these tough times?
Spare Change You Can Believe In!

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Why is it not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama?
In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.

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What is the difference between Obama and Jesus?
Jesus can put a cabinet together

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How does Obama sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

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Which person did President Obama thank first for helping him win the 2008 election?
Sarah Palin

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Why should Obama have choosen Evan Bayh for Vice President?
The name Birch Evans Bayh III makes Barack Hussein Obama sound almost normal.

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