Banks, Bankers and Financial Jokes

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Bankruptcy,divorce,liquor ocation, location, location

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Q: Why didn't the skeleton go skydiving?
A: It didn't have the guts.

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I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

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A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, “Did you see me rob this bank?”
The man replied, “Yes sir, I did.”
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, “Did you see me rob this bank?”
The man replied, “No sir, I didn’t, but my wife did!”

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My bank loves me.
They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

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An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes. So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady. Like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance

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If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

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Where do fish keep their money?
In a river-bank!

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Read the next line.
Read the previous line.

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Want to know how to keep an idiот in suspense???

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What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
This is a stand-up.

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Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.

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