Blonde Jokes

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Blonde Rides Shotgun The Blonde and the Blinker Δυο ξανθιές στο αμάξι Скъпа Какво отговоря блондинка като я попиташ дали мигачът мига? Две блондинки се возят в кола. Един борец казал на друг: Што одговара плавуша кога ја прашуваат дали работи жмигавецот на колата: Zwei Österreicher überprüfen ihr Auto: A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. - Vet du vad norrmännen säger om blinkersen i bilen? - Fungerer C'est deux belges qui sont dans une voiture et le préparent pour partir en vacances. Le conducteur dis au passager - Va voir si le clignotant marche bien s'il te plaît. - Ouais Carabinieri in auto: "Appuntato guarda se la freccia funziona". "Ora si' Det var en norrman A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner Kevin Un tipo le dice a la mujer rubia: - Andrea What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Det var en Svensk turist som var ute och åkte bil i Norge. Han svängde in på en verkstad för att kolla så att alla lampor på bilen fungerade. - Kan jag få hjälp med en sak? Frågade svensken. -... Det var två norr män som skulle åka bil. Då sa den som skulle köra till den andra: - Kan du gå ur och kolla så blinkersen funkar? - Okej P: O que uma loira te responde quando você pergunta se o pisca-pisca está funcionando? — Está; não está; Está. Não está... Ein Mann bittet eine Blondine sich hinter sein Auto zu stellen A guy asked a blonde if his blinkers were working and she replied On Two blondes are driving down the road A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working This guy picked up a dumb hitchhiker Quando uma pessoa pergunta para uma loira se o pisca-pisca do carro está funcionado o que ela diz? R.. tá
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Blondinen und Bananen Защо блондинките не ядат банани? Οι μπανάνες Pourquoi les blondes mangent pas de bananes? Wieso essen Blondienen grundsätzlich keine Bananen? - Weil sie an der Suche nach dem Reißverschluss verzweifeln. P: Porque loiras não comem banana? R: Por não achar o zíper... Perche’ le bionde non mangiano banane ? Perche’ non riescono a trovare la cerniera oppure non riescono a trovare il tappo. Dlaczego blondynki nie jedzą bananów? - Bo nie mogą znaleźć suwaka. Proč blondýnky nejí banány? - Protože nemůžou najít zip.
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Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B-L-O-N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: How did the blonde try to кill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice тiтs!"
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Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony.
On his first day a gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and he immediately gets an еrестiоn.
The woman notices his еrестiоn, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says:
"Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies "No, what do you mean?"
She says:
"You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an еrестiоn, it implies you called for me."
Smiling, she then leads him to the side of the pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Bob continues exploring the facilities.
He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts.
Within a few moments a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm еrестiоn lumbers out of the steam towards him.
The Huge Man says:
"Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies "No, what do you mean?"
"You must be new here, it is a rule that when you fаrт, it implies you called for me."
The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him.
Bob rushes back to the colony office.
He is greeted by the smiling nакеd receptionist:
"May I help you?"
Bob says:
"Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee."
"But Sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities..."
Bob replies:
"Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on about once a month, but I fаrт 15 times a day. No thanks!"
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Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know? The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early. The redhead is eleated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date. The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a сrаск and is mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house. The next day, the brunette and the redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
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A blonde was driving home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a bad hail storm. The hailstones were the size of golf ваlls. Her car was dented beyond description.

The next day, she took it to a repair shop. Noticing that she was blonde, the technician decided to have some fun. He told her to take the car home and вlоw real hard into the tailpipe and the dents would pop out.

When she got home, she started blowing into the tailpipe as she was instructed. At that moment, her blonde girlfriend drove by and saw her puffing on the tailpipe.

Thinking the worst, the friend was startled and said, "What are you doing?"

She said that the man at the body shop told her to вlоw into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.

Her girlfriend said, "Well, duhhhhhh! You need to roll up the windows first!"
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