Blonde Jokes

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Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know? The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early. The redhead is eleated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date. The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a сrаск and is mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house. The next day, the brunette and the redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
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A blonde was driving home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a bad hail storm. The hailstones were the size of golf ваlls. Her car was dented beyond description.

The next day, she took it to a repair shop. Noticing that she was blonde, the technician decided to have some fun. He told her to take the car home and вlоw real hard into the tailpipe and the dents would pop out.

When she got home, she started blowing into the tailpipe as she was instructed. At that moment, her blonde girlfriend drove by and saw her puffing on the tailpipe.

Thinking the worst, the friend was startled and said, "What are you doing?"

She said that the man at the body shop told her to вlоw into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.

Her girlfriend said, "Well, duhhhhhh! You need to roll up the windows first!"
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Vad gör man när en blondin kastar en liten metallpinne på en? Springer som fan. Hon har en handgranat i munnen Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
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I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not
Allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he
Would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker
(who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was
Pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was
"CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you
Doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said,
"You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a
Couple of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "... And
Where do you think you're going?"
(You're gonna love this.....)
She said,
"I'm going home too, I can't
Work in the dark
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After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'
The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?'
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.
Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration.....
Crap! This one's barefoot, too
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