One day there were three astronauts a blonde, brunnete, and a redhead eating together.
The brunette said,
"Hey you guys we were the first people in outer space we should be proud of that," and they said,
"Yeah, yeah we are.
Then they start to eat again when the redhead says "Hey you guys we were the first ones on the moon we should be proud of that too." They said,
"Yeah, yeah we are."
The blonde starts thinking and about one hour later she says,
"You guys, you know how we were the first one in outer space and the first ones on the moon?" They said,
"Yeah, so?"
"So," the blonde said,
"We should be the first ones on the sun too."
The redhead says,
"You crazy blonde, if we got within a 100 mile radius of the sun we would burn up and die."
The blonde replies,
"You are the crazy, we wouldn't go during the day. We would go at night."
Three blondes are training to be police officers. The man who is training them takes out a picture and asks the first blonde, "What do you notice about the man in this picture?" The blonde says,
"He only has one eye!". The man says "No, no, it's a side view." Then he says to the second blonde, "What do you notice about this man?" . The 2nd blonde says,
"He only has one ear!". The man says "Hello, it's a side view! Geez!". So the man goes over to the last blonde and says,
"What do you notice about this man?" . The final blonde says,
"He wears contacts!" The man goes to the FBI computer and looks the man in the picture up - sure enough - he wears contacts! The man says,
"How did you know that?" . The blonde says "Well, if he only has one eye and one ear, how can he wear glasses?" .
Yesterday I came back to my office from Court.
There was a new secretary (a very attractive blonde, of course?) in the office down the hall from me. She flagged me down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work, can you help me ?" she asked. I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive. While I spent the next 20 minutes getting out her disk and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys, John and Dave, in the hall trying awfully hard to keep straight faces. Suspecting some mischief, I asked her how the plastic got into the drive. "Oh, you mean the соndом!", she said. "Соndом???", I asked. "Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always put a соndом on my disk before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses." By this point, John & Dave were roaring, and it was all I could do to keep from joining them. The "соndом" turned out to be a standard 3.5" plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke had been played, and she shouldn't do that anymore, when she asked (as serious as one could be): "Does that mean I don't have to sтrоке it ten times or вlоw on it either???"
Judi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?
At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a вlооdy clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.
"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?
Judi replied, "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?"
"Simple really, just сrар in the carburetor," he replied.
Looking shocked she asked,
"Oh. How many times a week do I have to do that?"
Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. So, she got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.
Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.
They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event – hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.
About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."
Sally replied, "I can't understand that. Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left."