Blonde Jokes

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A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated."
What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go.
I didn't realize you were a cop."

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A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp.
He rubs it and two blonde genies come out.
They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants.
So he makes his wishes...
He wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them.
Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine...
Then two ККК members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him...
The ККК members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the other:
"I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money...
But I can't figure out why the hеll he would wanna be hung like a niggеr..."

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There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest тiтs?
The blonde.... She's 18.

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How do blonde braincells die?
Alone.
How do you brainwash a blonde?
Give her a dоuсhе and shake her upside down.
How do you change a blonde's mind?
Blow in her ear.
How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
How does a blonde кill a fish?
She drowns it.
A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:
"How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES"
"? The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".
The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.
The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end:
"How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"? She immediately says "One". The interviewer says,
"OK, we'll let you know".
Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked:
"How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"
. She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering:
"2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm - wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"
After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer:
"Thirty two"
The interviewer is stunned and asks her:
"Ok, now tell me, how the hеll did you arrive at this answer?"
She starts singing "Da Da Dah Dahhh Dah Dah Da Da Dah Dahh Dah Dah ..."
(The theme song for Indiana Jones)

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Why was the blonde's steering wheel covered with lipstick? She was trying to вlоw the horn. Submitted by Curtis Submitted by Calamjo

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A blonde was with her husband shopping and she decided that they would shop in different parts of the mall. They meet in the middle 2 hours later and she announces, "I just got kids." The husband stares amazed, looking at the kids he says,
"Those are 2 baby goats!" Submitted by bomberman255 Edited by Calamjo, Curtis and yisman

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.”
The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.”
The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?

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Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!

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I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask,
"Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?"
And the blonde says,
"Because im trying to commit suicide."
I ask,
"Why don't you just tie it around your neck?"
She says,
"I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."

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There were two blonds on their way to Disney World.
When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,”
So they turned around and went home.

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Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.

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A blonde asks a bypasser:
Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is?
It's on the other side.
Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...

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Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

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Q: Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sеx?
A: Because the соndом wouldn't fit over the phone.

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Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left." So they went home.

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Q: How does a blonde кill a bird?
A: She throws it off a cliff.

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What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.

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