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There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals."
One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.
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Blonde's License
Полицай спира блондинка за превишена скорост и я моли учтиво да си даде книжката.
Вчера ми взеха шофьорската книжка. Днес ме спират и пак ми я искат. Те добре ли са....колко книжки трябва да имам...
Ein Polizist hält bei einer Fahrzeugkontrolle ein Auto an und verlangt den Führerschein. Da schreit ihn der Fahrer an:
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
En eldre mann ble stoppet i en politikontroll... - Få se førerkortet ditt. - Nei
Une voiture dépasse un policier sur une autoroute : VVRAOOMM !! - Toi
Polisen: - Kan jag få se ert körkort? - Nej
Važiuoja blondinė automobiliu. Ją sustabdo kelių policija: - Labas vakaras. Parodykite
Un policier arrête une blonde au volant de sa Golf Cabriolet car elle vient d'être pris au radar à plus de 50 km/heure au dessus de la vitesse autorisée. Très calmement
Un politist opreste o Blonda pentru viteza: - Permisul de conducere va Rog! - Cine sa va mai inteleaga? Ieri mi L-ati luat si azi vreti sa vi-l arat!
A szabálytalanul közlekedő szőke nőt megállítja a rendőr
Se apropie un sofer de Un politist si incepe sa-i multumeasca
Policjant zatrzymuje blondynkę za przekroczenie prędkości i pyta ją bardzo grzecznie
Verkehrskontrolle. Peter wird vom Polizisten aufgefordert
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
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There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies,
"Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."
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How is a blond with makeup called?
Simpleminded picture.
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What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence
*edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* рооf *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*
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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
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Walks Into a Bar... Menu
мужик читает прейскурант в кафе на заправке: гамбургер-2$ ......
Όχι μασάζ
Мъж влиза в бар и чете надпис:
Влиза мъж в кафене и чете менюто:
Мъж чете ценовата листа в кафене:
Un homme entre dans un restoroute. Il rentre
O mineirinho entra num boteco
O mineiro chega no buteco e ve anunciado: Sanduiche de queijo...............2
Un homme va dans un bar et voit une pancarte inscrit dessus: "Bière : 3€ Sandwich : 7€ Masturbation : 30€" Alors l'homme s'installe à une table et accoste la jolie serveuse: - Salut
C'est Toto qui marche dans la rue avec son père puis il dit: Toto: regarde papa un avion! Son père: oui Toto j'ai vu. Toto: regarde papa une voiture. Son père : oui Toto j'ai encore vu. Toto:...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
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Naturfagslæreren sa til klassen: - ”Oksygen er helt nødvendig for å overleve. Det ble oppdaget i 1773.” Den blonde studenten utbrøt: - ”Takk Gud for at jeg ble født etter 1773!”
A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."
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A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners
The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
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3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says “I wish I was smart enough to get off this island” so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says “I wish I was even smarter then her so I don’t have to do so much manual labor” so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says “I wish I was smarter then both of them!” So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
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Blind
El del bar y el chiste de Lepe
Ein Blinder will einen Blondinenwitz erzählen
ΕΝΑΣ ΤΥΦΛΟΣ
The blind man
O τυφλός
Ο τυφλός και η ξανθιά
Един слепец си седи на бара и по едно време се провиква към бармана:
Мъж влиза в заведение
Доаѓа малиот Ѓокица дома и целиот среќен му вели на татка си:
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender:
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate.
Un ragazzo entra in un bar e dice: "Ho una nuova barzelletta di raccontare sui carabinieri". Un uomo
Слеп маж влегува во женски моторџиски бар
A blind man walks into a bar. The blind man sits down
Em um bar
Un borracho está tomando un trago en un bar donde el ambiente es bastante oscuro. En esto se da vuelta hacia la mujer que tiene a su lado y exclama: - ¿Quieres que te cuente un chiste de rubias super cómico? La mujer le responde:... - Bueno
En blind man på en barstol skriker till bartendern
Un aveugle entre dans un bar lesbienne par erreur. Il trouve son chemin vers le comptoir et commande un verre. Au bout d'un moment il crie à la serveuse: - "Eh
Kommt ein Mann in eine Bar und sagt: "Hey Leute
So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks
Een blinde man gaat per ongeluk een vrouwenbar binnen. Hij vindt zijn weg tot de toog
Bardaki taburede oturan kör adamın biri barmene
En blind man går av misstag in på en lesbisk bar. Han sätter sig på en barstol och beställer en drink. När han har suttit en stund ropar han på bartendern: - Hörru
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious
En blind mann kommer inn på en damebar ved et uhell. Han finner veien frem til baren
A man walks into a bar
Sokea mies meni baariin ja kysyi baarimikolta "haluatko kuulla blondivitsin?" Vierestä kuului kuiskaus "kuulehan nyt. Ennenkuin kerrot sen vitsin sinun tulee tietää
Aan een bar in een drukke kroeg zit een blinde man welke plotseling vrij hard roept naar de barkeeper: He barkeeper
Un hombre ciego entra en un "bar de chicas" por equivocación. Se las apaña para llegar hasta la barra y pide una copa
Kör bir adam yanlışlıkla Bayanlar Barına girer. Bara doğru ilerler ve bir içki ısmarlar. Biraz oturup
En blind mann i en bar roper til bartenderen: - ”Vil du høre en blondinevits?” Mannen ved siden av ham lener seg bort og hvisker: - ”Før du forteller den vitsen er det noe du bør vite. Bartenderen...
En blind mand kommer ved en fejltagelse ind på en bar for kvinder. Han famler sig frem til en barstol
So a blind man accidentally walks into a women's bar and says to the girl bartender
Slepec se svým psem vejde do baru
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fат guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.
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This Joke Hurts
Blonde in Pain
Πονάω παντού
Το σπασμένο δάχτυλο
На някаква сватба станало сбиване и всички били прибрани в ареста.
Ein Mann kommt zum Arzt.
Един отива на лекар
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says:
Kommt ein Mann zum Arzt:
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”
Блондинка зашла к доктору:
A blonde goes to her doctor complaining of body pains. Her doctor asked "Where does it hurt?" She touches her elbow and says
Geht eine Frau zum Arzt und sagt: "Wenn ich hier drücke tut es weh
Une blonde va chez le medecin et lui dit: -"Docteur...quand j'appuie là
Carabiniere dal dottore: "Dottore
A young woman said to her doctor
- ¡Doctor
Der Patient zu seinem Arzt: "Ich bin schwer krank und habe Schmerzen am ganzen Körper. Wenn ich mir mit dem Finger an den Kopf tippe tut es weh
Doctor
Le gars va chez le docteur et lui dit: - Lorsque je me touche ici
A blonde went to the hospital because her body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her elbow and it hurt....
"Herr Doktor
Une jeune femme blonde va voir son docteur. - "Ou avez-vous mal ?" Demande le docteur. - "Vous devez m'aider
En brunett går till läkaren. – Vad kan jag hjälpa dig med? – Jo
En ung brunett gick till doktorn och berättade att det gör ont på kroppen överallt där hon rör den. Omöjligt
Temel bir gün doktora gitmiş ve meramını doktora aktarmış: – Doktor bey parmağımı karnıma bastırıyorum acıyor
Een jonge brunette gaat de praktijk van de dokter binnen en zegt dat haar lichaam overal pijn doet
Er kwam een man bij een dokter
En ung tjej
En mann gikk til legen og sa: – Jeg har vondt over alt
Een jonge vrouw komt bij haar dokter met klachten over pijn. "Waar doet het zeer?" vraagt de dokter. "Het doet overal zeer
- Doktor
O português reclama de fortes dores ao seu médico: — Ai doutore
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says
The retired man goes to the doctor and says
En man kommer in hos doktorn: – Snälla doktorn
Cierta mañana
Przychodzi kobieta do lekarza i skarży się na ból. - Gdzie panią boli? - pyta się lekarz. - Wszędzie - odpowiada kobieta. - Jak to wszędzie? Proszę być bardziej dokładnym. Kobieta dotyka kolana...
Un tip merge la doctor si spune atingind diferite parti Ale corpului: - Doctore
Mladá slečna přišla k doktorovi a povídá: „Pane doktore
Börje gick till doktorn för att bli undersökt. Han beskrev för doktorn att när han petade sej i pannan gjorde det ont
Ateina blondinė pas daktarą ir skundžiasi: - Gydytojau
Ateina blondinė pas gydytoją ir skundžiasi: - Nežinau kas man yra. Paliečiu galvą – skauda
Er komt een blondje bij de dokter. Ze zegt: Dokter.. als ik op mijn buik druk
Det gør ondt Dokter
Det var en gång en brunett som hade gått till doktorn
Llega un enfermo a ver al médico y le dice: - Doctor
Blondinen gick till doktorn och sa. - Jag har jätte ont när jag nuddar knät. Doktorn frågade blondinen om det gjorde ont när hon nuddade magen. - Ja
- Doctor
- No sé que me pasa doctor
Een man komt bij de dokter en zegt: "Als ik hier druk heb ik pijn! Als ik op mijn been druk heb ik pijn! Als ik op mijn hoofd druk heb ik pijn!" "Aha
- "Dottore
Temel doktora gitmis. - Hastayim doktor
A man goes to the doctor and says
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc
Došao mujo kod doktora i kaže doktoru: Gdje god da se pipnem boli me Doktor:to je zato što imate slomljen prst
Chez le docteur
Un Belge se rend chez le Docteur : - Docteur
A brunette goes to the doctor
A young blonde goes to the doctor and says I hurt all over. The doctor says point to where you hurt. She points to her elbow and says "OW!" Then points to her head and says "OW" and then finally...
I went to the doctors yesterday I said: when I touch my back it hurts when I touch my knee it hurts when I touch anything it hurts! 😣 what’s wrong with me Doctor: you’ve broken your finger
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and exclaims: "Doctor
A loira estava em casa e começou à sentir dores então decidiu ir ao médico. Ao entrar na sala o médico lhe pergunta: — Pois não senhora
Num certo dia o dedo de Joãozinho estava maluco Joãozinho colocava o dedo dele na perna duia colocava na cabeça duia colocava no pescoço duia ai mariazinha colocou o dedo dela na perna dele não...
O português foi ao médico reclamando de dores pelo corpo todo. — Ái doutor
Uma loira que pintou o cabelo de ruivo vai no médico
Chega uma mulher no consultório: — Doutor meu corpo esta todo dolorido. Eu pego aki - ui ai - dói e aki - aiiiii - dói. Eu não sabia mais o que fazer e resolvi vir aqui no médico... Médico...
Um certo dia
Uma jovem morena vai num consultório médico e reclama que todos os lugares do seu corpo doem quando ela os toca. — Impossível - diz o doutor - mostre-me como acontece! Então
Um portugues estava doente mas nao sabia o que tinha. então foi ao médico chegando lá o médico perguntou: — O que tem seu Manoel? — Nao sei doutor
Português
Uma morena chega com o medico e diz: Me ajude
O Português vai ao medico: — Doutor
Çok güzel kizil sacli bir bayan doktorun ofisine girer ve her yerinin ağrıdiğini söyler. "imkansiz" der doktor "Gösterin lütfen bana" Kizil parmagini uzatir sol gögsüne bastirir ve çiglik atar
Temel doktora gitmiş: - "Çok hastayım doktor
Temel bir gün doktora gider. Doktora: - "Doktor bey
Er komt een dom blondje bij de dokter en zegt: "Als ik op mijn arm druk
Komt een man bij de dokter en zegt : ik heb hier pijn en hier en hier en hier enz. Zegt de dokter: ha ik weet het al je hebt een gebroken vinger!
Patient: Dokter mijn buik doet pijn als ik er op druk en ook heb ik hetzelfde als ik op mijn hele lichaam druk
O blonda merge la doctor si se Plange ca o dor toate. - Domnule doctor
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you."
"What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
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A blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
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From my dad: What do you get when a торlеss blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a торlеss brunette?
Your camera.
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¿Por qué echaron a los gallegos de la fabrica de m&m's?.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
Hvorfor blev blondinen fyret fra m&m fabrikken? – Fordi hun sorterede alle dem fra med W på.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the M&M factory?
A: She threw away all the W&W's.
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Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove ...
Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove to people that she wasn't just a dumb blonde. So she asked her friend "how could I show people I'm not just a dumb blonde?"
Her friend says, "First learn all the provinces and their capitals."
So that week the blonde learned them. The next week she was at a party and a man asked a question. The blonde says, "I know the anwser!" Then the man said " What would you know? You're just a dumb blonde?" Then the blonde says, "I'll have you know I'm not just a dumb blonde, I know all the provinces and their capitals."
Then the man said, " Okay, Saskatchewan."
The blonde started to grin.
"What are you grinning about?" said the man.
The blonde said, "Easy. S."
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So Blonde... "Soul Train"
She is so blonde, she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
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