Christmas Jokes

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I wonder if George Michael was a оrgаn donor
So he could really give his heart to someone special this Christmas.

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The Jedi know what we're getting for Christmas
They have sensed our presents

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What do Christmas lights have in common with jeffery Epstein
They dont hang themselves

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My mate wished me a Merry Christmas earlier.
A bit early, yes, but he suffers from premature congratulation.

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What happened to the Portuguese man when he got no presents for Christmas?
He got post-Natal depression

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I got my kid a puppy for Christmas but it died.
Now all I have is this puppy.

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Cinderella was waiting for her christmas photos to be sent in the mail.
Even though they were very late she stayed positive, thinking: ‘One day my prints will come’.

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I hope I get $100 of bitcoin as a Christmas present
I mean $120.23
Edit $97.56
Edit 2 $103.55
Edit 3 $111.47

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Where do you go to have a white Christmas in the 1940s?
Germany

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What do all Muslim girls want for Christmas?
Blow up dolls.

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Darth Vader is fighting Luke Skywalker...
Darth Vader says to Luke:
"Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas."
Luke:
"How could you possibly know?"
Vader:
"I felt your presents."

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My friend wants to look more like Kurt Cobain.
I'm getting him a shotgun for Christmas.

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Jokes on this subreddit is every Christmas present from an old person...
You get it, you appreciate the thought, but then you give it away to someone else in a slightly different packaging without a second thought.

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George Michael was jus here...
And then wham!
It was his last Christmas

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Last Christmas, George Michael's heart gave up...
Now he's never gonna dance again.

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So I guess 2016 was George Michael's
Last Christmas

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What's the рiмр saying to his staff on Christmas?
Hoe, Ное, Ное!

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A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party...
He was in the Menorah Tee.

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