Easter Jokes

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Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn't have the hare fare.

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Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party?
A: Around the cluck!

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What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.

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What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.

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Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".

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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.

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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.

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Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Alan.

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Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's sсrеwing a chicken.

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Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, her parents let her hide her own Easter eggs.

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Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
A: Tell her a joke on Monday.

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Three blondes die and go to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven."
He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."
St. Peter says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of year when the fат jolly guy comes down the chimney and our family gets together to open presents."
St. Peter asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"
She says, "That's when Сhrisт died and they put him in a tomb behind a rock."
"That's right!" exclaims St. Peter.
"Then, once a year," continues the third blonde, "we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter."

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On his 10th birthday, little Johnny's father took him aside. "I think you're old enough now that we should have a talk about the birds and the bees."

"No!" said little Johnny. "When I turned 6 you told me there was no Easter Bunny and when I turned 8 you told me there was no Santa Claus."

"So now if you're going to tell me adults don't have sеx, I don't wanna hear it!"

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A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry, and was not happy about the slowness of the line.
When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Easter!"
"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom, you'll be home in no time."

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Just before Easter, I remarked to my husband that with the children grown and away from home, this was the first year that we hadn’t dyed eggs and had an Easter-egg hunt.

“That’s all right, honey,” he said. “We can just hide each other’s vitamin pills.”

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My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter.

"So, Katie," said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, "who’s coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?"

Katie replied, "I think it’s my Uncle Brian."

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Q: What kind of books do rabbits like?
A: Ones with hoppy endings!

Q: Why shouldn't you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
A: It might сrаск up!

Q: Why does the Easter bunny have a shiny nose?
A: Because the powder рuff is on the other end!

Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?
A:
"Heard any good yolks lately"?

Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!

Q: How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
A: Only one. After that, it's not empty!

Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken!

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A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship.
The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids.
The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof.
The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque.
The Catholic Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only show up at Christmas and Easter.

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