Fat people jokes

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After watching my wife inhale a week’s worth of groceries in about two hours, I am thinking of giving her the nickname, the “USS Forrestal.” … …
….
It takes both of them three tugs to get into their slips.

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I tried to sell my Thomas the Tank Engine train set at an antiques shop today.
“You would have got more for it if the fат controller wasn’t missing.” Said the assistant.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” I replied. “The wife is good at haggling.”

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Yo Momma so fат she was born on the 4th, 5th, and 6th of June

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BBC News
“Being obese can cut your risk of dementia”
Let’s rephrase that to
“Fат fuскеrs are less likely to forget where the biscuits are kept”

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The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Wife: Would you still love me if I became fат and lost my looks.
Husband: What do you mean “if”?

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Guy: hey Rick Ross, you're so fат.
Rick Ross: yeah. it runs in the family
Guy: nothing runs in your family, you fат f*ck!

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“Did I come out of mum’s tummy?” asked my son.
“Yes son.” I said. “I know it’s hard to believe but five years ago you were in there.”
He looked at my missus slouched on the settee. “Dad? Are there still some people in there?”

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fат people.

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I was talking to a fат lass with huge тiтs last night.
“My eyes are up here…” I said, as she looked down at the kebab in my hand.

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Boy-Is your body from mcdonalds? Girl-Why because your lovin it.
Boy- No because its fат and greasy

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Today I decided to burn a lot of calories... So I lit a fат kid on fire!!!

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Yo mama is so fат that she played the part of the iceberg in the film Titanic.

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This fат girl came on to me in a club..
“I’m out to get рissеd and have a good time, I’ve left the kids and my other half at home, ” She said,
“Fuск me, ” I replied, “just how big are you?”

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Fат Girl: lol I hate the gym so much
Guy: Did you mean to put a 'h' there?

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Your so fат you were rolling down a hill and you never stopped.

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Yo mama's so fат, the bus got hit by her!

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New research has suggested that 1 in 3 men are too fат to see their own реnis.
That’s quite a good statistic, bearing in mind 9 out of 10 fат women never see one either.

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I was dancing with this fат girl in a club and she kept looking at her watch.
“It’s nearly twelve,” she said. “I’ll have to go.”
“Why, do you change into a beautiful princess?” I asked.
“No, you sarcastic сunт,” she replied. “The fuскing kebab shop shuts at one.”

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