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Fat Jokes, Fat people jokes

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Momma:Why is my milkshakes gone
Child:Sorry mom, but you are to fат to drink them
Momma:What I only blew up the bathroom like 5 times
Child:Yeah and we used 10 cans of air freshener jus a wast of money
Momma:So what ill go around the corner to get some more
Child:If you can fit though the door
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A woman came into my doctor’s surgery today.
After examining her I said, “Well, it looks like you’re pregnant.”
“Really?” she asked with excitement.
“Yes,” I replied. “So lose some fuскing weight.”
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The reason I'm so fат is because every time I f*cked your mum she gave me a cookie
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Girl dies after taking diet pills.
At least the family will be able to carry the coffin.
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Yo mama so fат in Indiana Jones she was the boulder
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Life is like a box of chocolates. If you’re fат it doesn’t last very long.
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What to do if someone calles you fат:
Yes, I am fат, but you're ugly and that will never change. At least I can diet.
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“You’re a fат, ugly вiтсh,” I yelled to my wife.
“You’re a lazy ваsтаrd,” she yelled back.
“You’re a moany сunт,” I replied.
“You’re a thick shiт,” she said.
“Well, you smell like shiт,” I said.
“You look like shiт,” she said.
“I wish you would fuскing die,” I said.
She was too upset to reply though. For the next hour or so, we talked about the good old days and we both said sorry to each other.
“Let’s start again,” she said.
“Okay…” I said.
“You’re a fат, ugly вiтсh…”
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Yo momma so fат, when she wore a green shirt everyone shouted "GODZILLA!"... fат cow
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Yo mama so fат she went outside in a yellow jacket a man was outside and said yo taxi
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Yo mama is so fат every time she farts it gets mentioned on the weather channel.
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Since my wife left me I’ve been left with a really big gap to fill.. She was quite fат and we had a memory foam mattress.
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I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight.
Lie
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If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat, and eat, and eat. I could deal with that too.
If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fат.
Yup...... I want to be a bear!
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Yo mama so fат when she weared a yellwo coat they said taxi
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Yo momma is so fат, that all the local fast foods joints have now installed a "Roll Thru"
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How do you make a fат kid cry?
Shoot his feet
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My wife said, “You never say anything romantic to me.”
So I said, “You might be a fат вiтсh, but you’re my fат вiтсh.”
Sometimes you just have to show them your soft side.
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