Fat Jokes, Fat people jokes
I saw a fат bird down the pub, her T-shirt said - Watch out, I’m a maneater!
I went up to her and said, “Excuse me, love… about your t-shirt slogan.”
She stopped me and angrily said, “Oh, let me guess: you want to know how many men I’ve eaten?! Well, I can’t help my size, you know!”
I said, “Actually, no, I wasn’t going to say that at all.”
She looked happier and smiled as she said, “Oh yes, what did you want to say then?”
“That’s not how you spell Manatee.”
There was 2 friends that go to their high school reunion.
They got there early so they went to the bar to watch a game. eventually, one of the guys gets drunк, so the other guy walks the drunк to the reunion, they sit down. half an hour later, the hosts of the reunion do this little game, where they say something and see who has done that something. the host says:
Host:
' okay now, whos won been on TV?'
The drunк guy's friend says "this guy over here!!!"
The drunк tells him to shut up but the host is already talking.
Host:
'ohh look everybody we have a celebrity!!! c'mon up here!'
So the drunк makes his way up on the stage.
Drunk:
' hi, ever-eeverybody ma names gabriel, and i don-dont wanna say much, i've been dri-nking a bit-'
At that point, the drunк notices two girls at a table and recognizes them.
Drunk:
' i- i see twoo girls at a table,i asked them out to prom of se-senior year. AND D-DEY SED NOO!! and dey got f-fат'
One of the girls gets up and yells at the drunk
Girl:
'Your fат too!!!'
Drunk:
'i was fат in high scho-ool, i kept my figure, why couldnt you???'
#rekt