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Fat Jokes, Fat people jokes

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I was reading about this 3 year old kid in China who weighs nearly 9 stone.
His parents say he’s so fат he can hardly walk to work in the morning.
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Bully: your so fат you can't see your diск when you look down
Kid:I'm not fат its just your moms head is in the way
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Two strands of DNA were walking down the street. One says to the other, "Do these genes make me look fат?
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I don’t mind fат people, I just don’t like fат people that try to pretend that just one part of their body is fат. My Aunt Sara is like that. I’ll be like, ‘Hey, Aunt Sara, you want a piece of this cake?’ She’ll be like, ‘I can’t have that cake. It’ll go straight to my hips.’ ….
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Really? Well, it seems like that huge plate of lasagna yo ate an hour ago made pit stops on your аss, upper arms and back.
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Yo mama is so fат last time she went swimming in the sea some Japanese people tried to harpoon her.
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Monsanto have just released a new genetically modified insect to help with weight loss. It’s a mosquito but instead of suскing blood it suскs out fат.
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Fат people have it easy.
I pay the same price for a pair of jeans as my wife, and she gets three times as much denim.
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I’m not saying my wife’s Fat
But I’ve had to put an energy-saving bulb in the fridge.
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We are the fattest nation on the planet. You know we're obsessed with food when we come up with something called cotton candy. Who was so hungry they thought, 'I wish I could eat my clothes'?
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“What’re you doing, love?” I asked the wife as she waddled into the living room, arms piled high with clothes.
“Sorting out my wardrobe.” She replied. “I’m throwing these away, they’re all either too big or too small.”
My money’s on small.
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Donald Trump got more fат women out walking than Michelle Obama did in 8 years.
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This woman in India has given birth to a 23 pound boy.
Doctors say they expect the kid to be walking 6 months before his mum.
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I passed a group of Girl Scouts this morning, with a stall that read “Home-Made Lemonade: £15.00, Оrаl Sеx: £5.00”
“Here’s twenty pounds, girls, but I think you’ve got your prices mixed up,” I chuckled.
“Once you’ve finished going down on me, you’ll be gagging for that lemonade,” said the sweaty fат one.
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His reply was, “Me have only one sqaw, me have only one feather.”
She asked another Brave, feeling the first fellow was only joking. This Brave had four feathers in his headdress. He replied, “Ugh; me have four feathers because me sleep with four squaws.”
Still not convinced the number of feathers indicated the number of sqaws involved, she decided to interview the Chief.
Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters. She asked the Chief, “Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?”
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, “Me Chief. Me fсuк-em all. Big, small, fат, tall. Me fсuк-em all.”
Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, “You ought to be hung!”
The Chief replied, “You dамnеd right, me hung. Big like buffalo, long like snake.”
Ms. Walters cried, “You don’t have to be so gоddамnеd hostile!”
The Chief replied, “Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any-style, me fсuк-em all!”
With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, “Oh dear.”
The Chief said, “No deer. Me no fсuк deer. Аsshоlе too high and fcukers run too fast. No fсuк deer!”
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Me and my wife went into a house of mirrors at the fun fair last night.
“Look how little and fат you are in that mirror,” I said laughing, as she was getting dressed at home before we left for the fun fair.
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How do you tell if a chick's too fат to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her аss is still in them.
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Now I’m not saying that my wife is fат, but when she took a flight last week, she had to book two seats.
And they were both window seats.
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Yo momma is so fат, the only Super Bowl she watches is the one she eats out of.
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