Fat people jokes

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Yo mama so fат that when she saw the dollar menu she thought two chins for the price of one.

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Fат kid: I've broken my leg!
Me: You're not broken just веnт.
Fat kid: You're веnт.
Me: Your face is веnт!
Football team: OOOHHH!!!
Goal keeper: Why don't you like him?
Fat kid: Because he's a рriск!
Me: And you're a cactus.
Fat kid: Seriously? Come up with an original joke!
Me: I don't need to search for an original joke, because I'm looking at one.

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I decided to burn a lot of calories today… I set fire to a fат kid that lives on my street!!

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Yo mama is so fат when she walks backwards she’s legally required to make a beeping noise.

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Yo mama is so fат that half of her body is still in last week!

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I slowed down in my car besides a fат chick jogging along the side walk earlier.
“You’re probably best jogging on the grass,” I shouted.
“Why, will that get me fitter?” she giggled, panting.
“No,” I replied. “Because there’s a woman trying to get past you with her pram.”

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I got chatting to a bird called Miss Stone on a dating website…
“I feel awkward keep calling you Miss Stone.” I wrote, “What’s your first name?”
“Guess.” she replied back.
“Okay,” I wrote as I took another glance at her profile picture, “Is it Twenty?”

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Yo Mama is so fат she works at her local cinema as a projection screen.

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I'm a voluptuous woman -- a big, beautiful woman -- I don't date no fат men. If you fат, please stay out of my face. What two fат people gonna do? Have a World Wrestling Federation match?

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Yo mamma is so fат, when it rains she uses the highway as a Slip,N,Slide!!

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Yo mama is so fат that Africans thought she was an elephant.

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My wife is so fат that when she booked a flight they made her have 2 seats.
She was рissеd off until I mentioned that she would get 2 meals.

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You're so fат you tried to eat Eniemen at the Grammies.

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Yo Momma's so fат, she jumped in the pacific ocean, neck minute, its the pacific desert.

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Yo mama so fат when she walks past the tv when im watching doctor who i mis the whole series

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Saw two girls at the bar last night, so I approached the one and said, “Can I borrow your lighter mate?”
She said, “I don’t smoke.”
“Neither do I,” I replied, “I want to dance with your fit friend, you tubby fсuк.”

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A client recently brought her two cats to my husband’s veterinary clinic for their annual checkup. One was a small-framed, round tiger-striped tabby, while the other was a long, sleek black cat.
She watched closely as I put each on the scale. “They weigh about the same,” I told her.
“That proves it!” she exclaimed. “Black does make you look slimmer and stripes make you look fат.”

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What do you call a fат woman with a rаре whistle? …
Overly Optimistic.

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