Fishing jokes, Fisherman jokes, Fish jokes

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Two fish are put in a tank
But, dаrn it, neither knows how to drive it.

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My friend has a model fish collection
They are all to scale

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What do Catholic cannibals eat in place of fish on Fish Fry Friday?
Battered women

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What did the eskimo say when he found out that his pet seal had been stealing from his fish reserve?
"Inuit!"

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A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube
After months of only catching fish, he finally caught a cold.

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Shakespeare is like a fish with epilepsy
I can't even begin to grasp it.

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I saw a fight in the chip shop the other day...
Two fish got battered.

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If a fish died in the ocean...
... Does it become a marine corpse?

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There was a fight in the Fish and Chip shop the other day
The fish got *battered* and the chip got *a-salted*.

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(original joke) what's a fish's favourite type of angle
A scalene angle haha

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How many fish did it take to кill my ex wife?
None, there are no fish under my new gazebo.

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What do fish talk about at work?
Current events

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Great joke I heard at a standup show in Houston this weekend. (Dark humor)
Give a man a fish, and he you will feed him for the day.
Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.

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