Food Jokes

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William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ?
Mum: What crying man ?
William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'

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What was Icarus’ least favorite food?
Hot wings.

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Two cannibals are eating dinner, and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles then."

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?
A: A соск that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

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Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

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A patient:
"Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal."
Doctor:
"Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor:
"Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."

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Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

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What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.

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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gаy?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gаy stirs yesterday's dinner.

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This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?"
So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."

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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.

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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole соw, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.

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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.

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If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would you choose?
"Gandhi."
Why him?
"More food for me."

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Yo' Mama is so fат, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.

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Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

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Two flies sit on a pile of роор. One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey, do you mind? I'm eating here."

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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.

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